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| "FREAKS" (1932) |
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| "Question: What goes HO-HO-HO-CLONK!?" |
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| "SANTA CLAUS laughing his HEAD OFF!" |
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| "I WISH I could find the ZIPPER on THESE PANTS!" |
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| "Mommy, Mommy, I HATE TIMMY'S GUTS!" |
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| "SHUT UP and EAT WHAT'S ON YOUR PLATE!" |
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| "I just ATE a COMEDIAN and now I'm FEELIN' kinda FUNNY!" |
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| Q: Which SIDE of a YETI is the FURRIEST? A: The OUTSIDE! |
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| For the LITTLE KREEP on your X-MAS LIST! |
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| "My uncle DIED of the FLU... He FLEW UNDER a CAR!" |
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| Q: What kind of CAR does a VAMPIRE DRIVE?" A: A BLOODMOBILE! |
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| "SMOKIN' a PIPE will LEAD you to COFFIN!" |
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| "You know, I was once a WAITER at an INANE ASYLUM..." |
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| "Yeah, I served SOUP to NUTS!" |
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| "I'm the MOST FAMOUS ROBOT IN THE WORLD!! Please DON'T LOOK me in the EYE!" |
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| R2: "BEEP BOOP BE-BEEP BOOP!" (Translation: There's a PRIVATE PARTY in our hotel room... Come by and bring a FRIEND!) |
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| "I had a SATANICALLY POSSESSED MOTORCYCLE once... Yeah, It was one VICIOUS CYCLE! |
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| "That JOKE made my EYES ROLL!" |
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| "The MISSLE? Yeah, EYE got it!" |
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| "...and I AIN'T GOT NOBODY! NO BODY" |
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| Q: What do you call HALF a GOLEM? A: SIR! |
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| "This CONVENTION had me in STITCHES!" |
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| "This convention brought out ANOTHER SIDE OF ME!" |
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| "The CONVENTION was OUT OF THIS WORLD!" |
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| "You SHOULD SEE my BIKINI LINE!" |
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| "I got so WRAPPED UP in Monsterpalooza Convention this year!" |
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| "It made my HAIR STAND ON END!" |
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| "MONSTERPALOOZA is ONE HELL of a CONVENTION!!!" |
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| "This CONVENTION brought out the BEAST IN ME!" |
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| "If THAT R2D-WhatEVER DARES come in HERE I am SMACKIN' HIS RUSTY CAN DOWN!" |
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| "Did you know that the leading cause of DEATH among VAMPIRES is TOOTH DECAY!" |
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| "Oh DRAC! That TICKLED my FUNNY BONE!" |
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| "I wanted a room at the HOTEL with HOT and COLD running BLOOD!" |
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| Q: What's better than ROSES on a PIANO? |
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| A: TULIPS on your ORGAN! |
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| "There's THAT GOTH CHICK Pete Cushing was going on about! Damn! Every WOMAN has a RIGHT to be BIG but SHE ABUSES the PRIVILEGE!" |
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| "She's so BIG when she TURNED around in CLASS she'd WIPE the WORDS OFF the CHALKBOARD!" |
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| "She said, 'KISS ME, BIG BWAANA'... So, I KISSED her BIG BWAANA!!!" |
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| "NO, I DON'T WANT to have ANOTHER STARING CONTEST!" |
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| "I feel SICK to my STOMACH... it must have been SOMEONE I ATE!" |
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| "How are my EYE-BROWS?" |
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| "I use RADIOACTIVE COLD CREAM... That way I wake up with GLOWING COMPLEXION!" |
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| "Hey, What do you have when a ZOMBIE presses your DOORBELL?" |
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| "Why a DEAD RINGER of course!" |
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| "'PYRO 'THE THING WITHOUT A FACE'" (1964) |
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| Q: How did HITLER tie his SHOES? A: IN LITTLE NAZIS! |
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