"FREAKS" (1932) |
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"Question: What goes HO-HO-HO-CLONK!?" |
"SANTA CLAUS laughing his HEAD OFF!" |
"I WISH I could find the ZIPPER on THESE PANTS!" |
"Mommy, Mommy, I HATE TIMMY'S GUTS!" |
"SHUT UP and EAT WHAT'S ON YOUR PLATE!" |
"I just ATE a COMEDIAN and now I'm FEELIN' kinda FUNNY!" |
Q: Which SIDE of a YETI is the FURRIEST? A: The OUTSIDE! |
For the LITTLE KREEP on your X-MAS LIST! |
"My uncle DIED of the FLU... He FLEW UNDER a CAR!" |
Q: What kind of CAR does a VAMPIRE DRIVE?" A: A BLOODMOBILE! |
"SMOKIN' a PIPE will LEAD you to COFFIN!" |
"You know, I was once a WAITER at an INANE ASYLUM..." |
"Yeah, I served SOUP to NUTS!" |
"I'm the MOST FAMOUS ROBOT IN THE WORLD!! Please DON'T LOOK me in the EYE!" |
R2: "BEEP BOOP BE-BEEP BOOP!" (Translation: There's a PRIVATE PARTY in our hotel room... Come by and bring a FRIEND!) |
"I had a SATANICALLY POSSESSED MOTORCYCLE once... Yeah, It was one VICIOUS CYCLE! |
"That JOKE made my EYES ROLL!" |
"The MISSLE? Yeah, EYE got it!" |
"...and I AIN'T GOT NOBODY! NO BODY" |
Q: What do you call HALF a GOLEM? A: SIR! |
"This CONVENTION had me in STITCHES!" |
"This convention brought out ANOTHER SIDE OF ME!" |
"The CONVENTION was OUT OF THIS WORLD!" |
"You SHOULD SEE my BIKINI LINE!" |
"I got so WRAPPED UP in Monsterpalooza Convention this year!" |
"It made my HAIR STAND ON END!" |
"MONSTERPALOOZA is ONE HELL of a CONVENTION!!!" |
"This CONVENTION brought out the BEAST IN ME!" |
"If THAT R2D-WhatEVER DARES come in HERE I am SMACKIN' HIS RUSTY CAN DOWN!" |
"Did you know that the leading cause of DEATH among VAMPIRES is TOOTH DECAY!" |
"Oh DRAC! That TICKLED my FUNNY BONE!" |
"I wanted a room at the HOTEL with HOT and COLD running BLOOD!" |
Q: What's better than ROSES on a PIANO? |
A: TULIPS on your ORGAN! |
"There's THAT GOTH CHICK Pete Cushing was going on about! Damn! Every WOMAN has a RIGHT to be BIG but SHE ABUSES the PRIVILEGE!" |
"She's so BIG when she TURNED around in CLASS she'd WIPE the WORDS OFF the CHALKBOARD!" |
"She said, 'KISS ME, BIG BWAANA'... So, I KISSED her BIG BWAANA!!!" |
"NO, I DON'T WANT to have ANOTHER STARING CONTEST!" |
"I feel SICK to my STOMACH... it must have been SOMEONE I ATE!" |
"How are my EYE-BROWS?" |
"I use RADIOACTIVE COLD CREAM... That way I wake up with GLOWING COMPLEXION!" |
"Hey, What do you have when a ZOMBIE presses your DOORBELL?" |
"Why a DEAD RINGER of course!" |
"'PYRO 'THE THING WITHOUT A FACE'" (1964) |
Q: How did HITLER tie his SHOES? A: IN LITTLE NAZIS! |
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